The Weekly Roundup : The Premier League

On the same day plans for a royal wedding were unveiled Aston Villa, the prince’s team, also announced the potential signing of thirty seven year old Robert Pires. Oh what joy for the British tax payer, funding the luxuries of others, which they gain no benefit from. Double blow if you’re a Villa fan! The weekly Roundup

16.11.10 Chelsea, Advice From me too you, from me too you! When Chelsea initially announced the long term absences of Terry and Alex my instant thoughts were it was a blessing in disguise, as it now gave them the opportunity to get some quality centre half’s in. But trying to convince Chelsea fans that Terry isn’t god is like telling Alex he’s a few pounds on the heavy side, they just won’t accept it. If the players do have to undergo op’s then Chelsea fans not worry, as there are two men who match the ability of their current pair, are out of contract and probably seeking work, Paul and Barry Elliot. Only thing is you’ve got to grab them before I’m a celebrity does.

17.11.10 Fabio Capello, Who is he? So for months now I’ve been contemplating on how much Fabio Capello really knows about football. He’s back catalogue says his does, but England’s world cup campaign laughs at that suggestion. Well Wednesday night was confirmation that the latter rather than former is correct. Why? Not because Laurent Blanc proved it possible to effectively revamp a team in the same space of time, not because going against your own promises fuels hostility between club and country and not even because England lost. I derived at the conclusion for one simple reason and that is Fabio Capello just doesn’t have a clue. The guy doesn’t even know who he is anymore let alone anything about football. A baseball coach?, A milkman?, Postman Pat? Well give me the black and white cat over Capello any day.

17.11.10 Newcastle attempt to sabotage Carroll debut I genuinely don’t understand why managers champion the international bids of their players. When they don’t make the squad they brand around the allegation of ‘top four snobbery’ and when they do make the squad they hate them playing, suddenly injuries are discovered but miraculous recoveries are made by the weekend.

19.11.10 Blackburn’s BIG SAM Big Sam’s has continually bemoaned the fact he hasn’t had the chance to be become a ‘bigger’ manager. He felt as if his time at Newcastle was unfairly cut short and The F.A haven’t ever considered him as a genuine candidate for the England job. Well with Blackburn’s £43m takeover completed by poultry owners Venky’s, I have no doubts that Big Sam will finally become that big man. How could he not? Discounted chicken and Sam Allardyce doesn’t make for a good formula.

20.11.10 The weekend’s Football

Arsenal & Spurs: Consistently inconsistent What more can I say about the North London derby that you probably haven’t read, heard or said yourself. Arsenal in only Arsenal fashion suffer a humiliating defeat, and Spurs are involved in a game only they could be.  When you get past the overreactions from both sides you see that we never really learnt anything new about any of the two teams. If you did however please let me know.

West Ham: Avram is Avram, The players are affordable, so let’s blame the chairmen. West Ham’s David duo reminds me of a pair of Essex lottery winners, who saved their favourite club in return for shares. Now they’re there they’re clueless, and are wishing they just would’ve brought a villa in Spain instead. Sullivan and Gold are not even fit to own Dagenham motors let alone a premier league team.

Dear Deidre, ‘There’s a new man in my life (Booney) and I don’t know how I should feel about him’ The return of Wayne was met with mixed reception, as Old Trafford rang with a chorus of boos, as well as the infamous ‘Rooney’ chant (Hence Booney). Whatever side you may be with there’s no doubting that the saga has changed the relationship between the two parties. The honeymoon lasted several years but all the holy matrimony stuff went out the window when the groom wanted an annulment. Ferguson played judge and threw the proposal out of court but the sceptics believe that a divorce is imminent. Deidre’s verdict: Marriages break down all the time it’s something you have to work at to get right. He need to show his romantic side through some gesture, flowers, chocolate or maybe regaining form and by doing so all will be forgotten.