Anoraks and Acoustics: Rating the Premier League by its Stadium Announcer

Forget the xG tables. Ignore the frantic transfer rumours. The true, underexplored battleground of the Premier League isn’t always on the grass. It’s high above it, in a cramped gantry, behind a crackling microphone. We are talking, of course, about the stadium announcer.

They are the invisible architects of our matchday emotions. They are the calm before the storm, the voice of euphoria when the net bulges, and the stern reminder to keep off the pitch. For 90 minutes, they are the omnipresent narrator of a drama that means the world to millions. Some are rockstars. Some are bureaucrats. And some, frankly, sound like they’d rather be announcing a train delay at Crewe.

This is a celebration of those voices. This is a guide to the legends, the lads, and the loudspeakers. Let’s put our hands together for the real unsung heroes of English football. Here is your ultimate, definitive, and totally subjective rating of the Premier League by its tannoy announcer, just for your amusement to read after you’re done tipping and making bank on all your top leagues at your favorite online casino.

The Golden Voices: Mount Rushmore of the Mic

At the very top of the table, we aren’t looking for flashy gimmicks or pyrotechnics. We are looking for legacy. We are looking for a voice so ingrained in the club’s identity that you can’t tell the history of the team without mentioning the person reading it out.

George Sephton (Liverpool) – The Voice of Anfield

If you look up “class” in the dictionary, you should find a recording of George Sephton. For an astonishing 54 years (from 1971 until his retirement in 2025) George was the soundtrack to Liverpool Football Club. He started with a letter that landed on the club secretary’s desk on the very day they decided to sack the previous announcer. Talk about fate .

His first game? It was also the debut of a young lad named Kevin Keegan .

In an era of shouty, hyperactive MCs, George remained resolutely dignified. “I don’t like the way the modern guys yell out the names on the team sheet. It makes me cringe,” he once said . He viewed his job not as a performer, but as a conduit for the fans. He famously played local Liverpool talent, weaving the city’s musical heritage into the fabric of the matchday. He even refused to charge for birthday dedications, because “that really wasn’t on. Not what should be happening at Anfield”.

When he played You’ll Never Walk Alone, it wasn’t just a song; it was a communal prayer delivered by a trusted friend. He announced his retirement by lifting the Premier League trophy… a fairytale ending for a man who once joked his 54-year trial for the job had “only just finished”. He is, and always will be, the Premier League Champion of announcers.

Alan Keegan (Manchester United) – The Red Orchestra Conductor

Just 29 miles down the East Lancs Road, they have their own immortal voice. Alan Keegan has been the announcer at Old Trafford since the year 2000, and his passion is infectious. He understands the assignment perfectly. His rule for goal announcements is masterful: “You let them celebrate first. I never try and do the announcement over them. In many ways, it’s like a second bite at the apple to celebrate”.

He has been the master of ceremonies for the highest of dramas. Who can forget the night he read out the Real Madrid team sheet, saving a certain Portuguese forward until the very end, on the specific orders of Sir Alex Ferguson? “Welcome back, no.7, Cristiano Ronaldo…” The place erupted.