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The Weekly Roundup

Sol Campbell Newcastle United 2010/11 Manchester City V Newcastle United (2-1) 03/10/10 The Premier League Photo Robin Parker Fotosports International Photo via Newscom
A thrilling Ashes series took place this weekend, OXYMORON, I hear you scream at your computer screen, Ashes thrilling? Of course I’m not talking about the cricket, I’d rather sit and watch paint dry and then peel again of a freshly painted wall. Instead I’m referring to undoubtedly the Premier League’s most exciting weekend, where the scores were so high you could be forgiven if you’d thought you were watching a set of cricket games. The weekly roundup

22.11.10 If it’s not broke then break it – So the week began with rumours of Roman Abramovich boredom, and although it wasn’t put in so many words it offered the only explanation into the Chelsea owner’s interference. Every couple of month he gets the urge to try his hand at management, breaking a winning formula. Chelsea fans can’t really complain though, if it wasn’t for him they wouldn’t be anything to break.

22.11.10 If Mike Tyson was a footballer – Luis Suarez put the incident of him biting PSV midfielder, Otman Bakkal down to tiredness, hence his decision not to apologise. He said, “No, I do not regret what happened. Normally I always keep calm but I didn’t. This week I had to travel a lot”, so I guess biting him helped you regain your energy then Suarez? Where does this guy get his conduct from, the Mike Tyson book of sportsmanship, Chapter one ‘You’re great with your hands but have you considered using your teeth’

23.11.10 Not such a special move by the special one, was it? – Hey Bobby, What’s the Portuguese for ‘unsporting like conduct’? Jose Mourinho. So none of his antics should ever surprise you. In the same way Ambramovich is obsessed with power Jose is with attention, starve them and they seeks new ways of obtaining it. A normal manager would’ve simply reminded his players that as they’re already on yellows they should watch be weary of what they’re doing, or he’d bench them until their cards were erased (Madrid have only spent a billion pound this year and they’re squad doesn’t have the depth to cope with two absent players?) But no not the special one, he only goes and does the complete opposite and orders them to get themselves sent off. After attempting to make a muggings of the system UEFA now plan to investigate Madrid’s actions. And unfortunately for Jose the only person in football that likes attention more than he does, or asserting his power more than his ex boss is the president of UEFA.

24.11.10 North London turned on its head after two games? – Two on the trot and the balance changed? Sometimes the issue with football is that it only deals the events presented and fails to look at the bigger picture. Pundit’s predictions are as valid as a back alley Mystic Meg saving up for her grandkids Xmas gifts. Once you’ve paid your £1.99 no one is held accountable when the predictions don’t go as said.  All week they’ve been banging on about how Spurs are on the brink of overhauling Arsenal  simply after their Champions League qualification and their first away win since the death of Stegosaurus. Please give me a break!

27.11.10 The weekend’s football – Referee strike, so what? – The SPL referees went on strike this weekend causing a massive uproar in the world of football. I don’t understand what all the fuss was about though, the EPL ref’s go on strike every Saturday at 3pm. Scotland should count themselves lucky it’s just the week!

Man United 7 Blackburn 1– Followers of the weekly roundup will know that I can’t resist the temptation to have a pop at Big Sam Allardyce. But I’ll refrain from doing so this week, as I put his team’s heavy defeat down to a matter of miscommunication. When the new owners said they wanted entertainment I’m sure they meant they wanted to provide it, but I’m sure that meant not at the clubs expense. But thats a mistake anyone manager could have made, right?

Mission accomplished at Upton Park – West Ham S.O.S game has come in for some stick because the club took a risk. So what they got the result. They haven’t taken enough of them this season and that’s why they find themselves in the bottom three, good on you hammers.

28.11.10 Grandad-Campbell– Watching the Newcastle- Chelsea game yesterday it only just hit me how old Sol Campbell really is. That wasn’t because he was making his 500th league appearance, or even because Kalou’s goal stretched every muscle in the old man’s back. It was simply because of his shorts. None of this youthful business the kids do nowadays with their shorts down to their angle, Sol’s approach is quite the opposite. If they’re not chest high then they’re too short.

FA Cup Draw It’s freezing, you’ve just lost a game you should have won, and now you’re stuck on a coach for few hours just to get home. The driver turns on the radio and during the news bulletin you find out you’ve got a third round away tie against United, bummer!

*Highlight of the week*

The weekend was full of goals so of course it makes up this week’s highlights. Which goal scoring performance deserves it you decide! (Please leave your comments below)

Sylvan Ebanks-Blake – We all love a last minute winner and Ebanks–Blake’s provided Wolves with there’s this week. However I prefer Nick McCarthy’s when he’s depressed and moaning, so hopefully there isn’t too many occasions like Saturday.

Bolton 2 Blackpool 2 – The game belonged to Bolton as they came from two goals down to level, as if Petrov’s first wasn’t good enough Bolton go on to score a brilliant team goal.

Man United 7 Blackburn 1 (Berbatov’s five) – And of course anyone who scores five has to be a contender for the week’s highlight.

The Weekly Roundup – Every Monday

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