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The Weekly Roundup

It was Corrie’s 5oth anniversary this week and they spent a million pounds creating the episodes. A million pounds on a soap and they say the football industry wastes money, that’s probably a few week’s wages on Titus Bramble, Lucas Leiva, Ledley King & Kieron Dyer (both on full time money) then again…. The weekly Roundup

6.12.10 Ex Liverpool managers and their OCD – What is it about EX Liverpool managers and their obsession with their former club. A few weeks ago Benitez was spouting off about milk and mountains, and on Monday Houllier was claiming credit for everything at Anfield and stating his affection for his former club. The strangest thing about it is that both of them are currently managing at clubs bigger than their ability and they still insist of talking themselves out of jobs.Well I give them both a little while longer and they’ll be free and available to meet up for tea (or milk) and biscuits and share their grievances about Liverpool, Inter Milan and Aston Villa.

7.12.10 Another quiet Newcastle season  – Mike Ashley making a mess of things is as predictable as seeing an overweight, topless Geordie in freezing conditions (note how they always go that extra mile in doing so when its cold aware of the fact a cheesy Richard Keys joke will redirect they sky cameras providing them a cameo on TV. They say passion I say Influenza) Funnily enough I may have been the only person in the country who agreed with the decision to get rid of Hughton. Mike Ashley was obviously reading last week’s edition of the Weekly Roundup, as few hours after it was published Hughton was removing the plaque from the office door and the family portrait from the desk and packing it in a brown box labelled ‘Chris’. His sacking was a decision based on ambition. Yes Houghton may have kept them up but what then? where would he have taken them? I wouldn’t have given a long term contract and if you can distance yourself from all the sentiment for a minute I don’t think you would have either, so up until then Mike was doing just fine. But then he had one idea too many and in the interest of balance his next had to be an awful one, as the rumour of his next appointment materialised.

7.12.10 Rooney Vs Valencia – Here’s the thing with Wayne Rooney finding his form we all knew it was going to happen sometime and without an England tournament in site it probably makes it harder to swallow if you’re not a United fan. As long as he doesn’t ‘coincidentally’ bump into Katie Waissel’s gran at some celebrity function or Monday night wink bingo then the future looks bright!

8.12.10 Harry ‘Wheeler d astute businessman’ Redknapp – Debutants Spurs qualified for the Champions league top of their group, breaking a goal scoring record and before bitter rivals Arsenal, now if that doesn’t call for a DVD I don’t know what does. Added to their list of other achievements this year which include the infamous derby win and beating Liverpool there has to be something going on. Well my theory is that Harry’s been working with the club shop and has a boxset lined up for release just in time for Xmas, which allows him to generate funds for January, whilst also alleviating the pressure from Daniel Levy’s pockets. It’s absolutely genius! Did you ever doubt the whe….  In fact I’ll refrain from calling him the W word you remember what happened to the last guy that did that….

8.12.10 Ballond’Or shortlist, another Fifa decision  – Anytime Fifa make a decision now the reaction it’s met with is an inevitable one, “What the hell!” and “How much money did Jack Warner get?” For Wesley Sneijder not to be front runner for this year’s Ballond’Or would have been bizarre, so the fact that he doesn’t even make the shortlist is an absolute farce. As magnificent as the Barcelona trio are none of them deserve it more than the Holland and Inter playmaker. Why was he overlooked? Simply because he doesn’t play for the Catalan giants, So Sepp are you not taking that title around the world as well?

8.12.10 ‘???’ – A professor from the University of Arizona believes that getting pigs to fly is just a matter of ‘adjusting your aerodynamics’, Arsenal want Barcelona in the next round of the Champions League and Ronaldinho’s on his way to Liverpool. I’ll leave it up to you to decide which one you believe. Personally I think the pigs in the air theory doesn’t sound that bad alongside the other two.

9.12.10 Who are ya? – Alan Pradrew…. I mean Pardew (that one was for you Chris) moved in and had his feet well under the table in no time, demanding a five year and half year contract and mispronouncing the old gaffer’s name. The second however he could be forgiven for, as he’s been on the receiving of that all week. Every time I heard anyone talk about Pardew this week without failure they would begin the sentence in the same way ‘Nothing against Alan’, to the extent that I’d thought he’d changed his name. The irony of it was what followed, which were probably some of worst insults of his managerial career. Nothing against Alan but, ..he’s punching three divisions above his weight, ..he’s a sideways move, ..If he’s the answer then what’s the question. For guys that have nothing against Alan they sure do a convincing performance otherwise.

10.12.10 The French are arguing again, what a surprise (Evra vs. Wenger) – If Gary Neville was black he’d be Patrice Evra, if he was spotted by Mourinho he’d be John Terry’s double, if he was a few years older and learnt he’s trade on the other side of London would have been Martin Keown and this could go on forever. Basically every club has had, does have or will players of that nature, adored by their own and abhorred by everyone else. Wenger branded Evra’s comments on Friday disrespectful, well of course they were Arsene, I’m sure that was the intention. They’re wind up merchants. What did you expect him to say, how do you expect them to behave? I’m sure JT wasn’t drawing imaginary hearts in the air at the Spurs fans yesterday.

11.12.10 The weekend’s Football

West Ham 1 Man city 3 No win in two games but West Ham fans should not worry, as your fate is in the hands of three men with big ideas Gold, Sullivan and Grant. We’ll forget about the last few games and label next week’s one ‘SOS again’, yep that’s bound to work.

Stoke 0 vs. Blackpool 1 – It helps having a week off doesn’t it. Hopefully it’s not too sunny next week, as Blackpool may not be able to afford the suntan lotion forcing the game to be called off.

Newcastle 3 Liverpool 1- I forgot to mention that that cuppa will be at Hodgson’s house, but when he remembered that he was out of milk he didn’t take it too well….

Everton 0 Wigan 0 – The only shining light in Liverpool’s season is Everton’s one. No matter how bad they get they can always trust their rivals to be even worse.

12.12.10 Carlos Tevez transfer request – As another Tevez transfer looks to be on the cards I’m ecstatic, as those things are always fun. Hopefully there’s some weird clause in his contract which forces him down a division and he somehow finds himself at Millwall.

Tottenham 1 Chelsea 1 – Frank Lampard didn’t take the penalty that should have won the game for Chelsea because of fears that Uncle Harry would withhold his Xmas gift.  I wonder how he’ll feel when he finds out it’s only a set of DVD’s.

*Highlight of the week* This week’s highlights are from probably three of the most hilarious videos you’ll all season. However as always there can only be one highlight of the week, which clip deserves it you decide (please leave your comments below)

Super Nani, the funniest cocky guy ever?

Alan Sugar wades in on this week’s hot topic (The sympathy vote maybe as, Hughton ‘celebrated’ his 52nd birthday on Saturday, bummer)

Mick McCarthy and the ghost of Christmas future, his future (Not to sway opinion by my favourite)

and here’s what he saw…..

TWR – Every Monday & Feel free to follow me on twitter



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  3. Rutendo64

    December 14, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    genius article.. Tevez for Fc United Of Manchester !!

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