The Weekly Roundup…..

‘Written by Marvin Williams’

In case you’ve been on Mars or in a black ops all week you may need to be brought up to speed with the events of The Premier League, so I’ve made it my call of duty to do so. The weekly roundup:

6.11.10 Injured quicker than you can say Hargreaves Owen Hargreaves has two options now. Either he calls it a day or he apologies to that ex girlfriend who keeps sticking needles in his doll, to not do so is just stubborn now.

10.11.10 Wormwood Scrubs, ST James Park. Same institution different uniforms Let’s take a minute to applaud Newcastle for their services to their local area. As well as providing obese men across the north east with weekly entertainment, they’ve also established themselves as a community service program for criminals. Andy Carroll one week, Joey Barton the next. Parole officer Houghton better get a grip of it all.

10.11.10 The Manchester derby: What was that all about? Welcome to Manchester? No thanks I’m heading back down south. As anticlimaxes go that placed was filled with them this weekend, and I swear if I hear or read one more analogy or reference to that fight, I‘m going to knock myself out.

10.11.10 Holloway – Two rants too many The Football Association have found themselves in a bit of a pickle over the last few weeks, with Harry Redknapp setting a new trend. After threatening a media boycott his issue was quietly swept under the carpet, until Ollie forced them to lift it again and add to the dirt. Blackpool began the season with many football fans carrying a soft spot for them, but post the gaffer’s Rooney and resignation rant that’s slowly disappeared.  No one like rules guys, but whilst they’re try to follow them instead of making a mockery of the system.

11.11.10 Ancelotti raises eyebrows at Wilkins departure Never heard of a rift, successful partnership and what appeared a good working relationship, and suddenly Wilkins disappears. Anyone else get the feeling that Ancelotti isn’t pulling the strings at Stamford Bridge? I’m sure Ray sat with a glass of wine, chuckling at their performance yesterday (he looks like a wine man and a chuckler as opposed to someone who would have a beer and laugh)

12.11.10 If you can’t beat them and you can’t join them , move to the other side of London It’s taken them almost a century (93 years to be exact) but its finally sunk in. There’s only room for one set of cowboys in town, and Spurs have accepted that. There’s a story in whoever gets the stadium, will the Hammers have the greatest ground in the championship’s history, or will Spurs finally win their local derby away from home.  (Although I may be speaking too soon with the North London derby next week)

*Highlights of the week*13.11.10/ 14.11.10 Elmander’s goal Vs wolves, Onuoha Vs Chelsea Sagna Vs Everton ‘If it was Messi we’d be talking about it forever…blah , blah, blah. As is often the claim of a manager milking even more praise for his player’s rare piece of brilliance. Nevertheless the three goals were excellent and from unlikely candidates so they make up the contenders for highlight of the week. Which goal deserves it, you decide. (Please leave your comments below)

13.11.10 Stoke 2 Liverpool 0, Manchester City 0 Birmingham 0 Roberto Mancini and Roy Hodgson at least made someone’s weekend, as the odds shortened on their departures. Then again Liverpool and City fans must be ecstatic at that prospect. If you haven’t yet done so get your bets in now before the bookies start paying out!

N.B. Kenny Dalgish as next manager isn’t that just an old Newcastle move of appointing a hero.

13.11.10 England squad announced Every time an England squad’s announced I’m hit with terrible flashbacks of the WC & what exactly can be gained from Wednesday’s game, a test to see whose national’s side is more pathetic than the others? New faces under old management equates too little optimism.

13.11.10 Aston Villa Concede two goal lead Say what you want about Man U (I know I do) but when it comes to pulling a result out of the bag there isn’t a team in the world who do it better!

14.11.10 Arsenal win, Zenden’s kids lose The weekend belonged to Arsenal after a good win at Everton coincided with their closest rivals all dropping points & Hopefully Zenden’s kids don’t have to go in to school today, after daddy did that dance live on television.

Look out for ‘The Weekly Roundup’ every Mondays