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The Weekly Roundup: Liverpool Player Embarrassed, Same Old Arsenal and Champs League Draw

There were only three happy people in the country this weekend after the big freeze, Steve Bruce- after Sunderland’s 1-0 win against Bolton, Santa Claus’s reindeers- knowing that they’ll be fully appreciated this year, as with the disruption at airports, traffic on the road and train signals failing they are the only way he can get around and Snood manufactures- as they are likely to see an increase in the sale of their product. However the snoods recent success is at the expense of the ‘scarfs’ who had their nicked , reinvented and made money without giving permission or receiving commission. The Weekly Roundup

13.12.10 Why Big Sam is now out of work – There’s been an elusiveness surrounding the sacking of Big Sam Allardyce this week. My theory is that they wanted to pay him his wages in chicken, he asked that they threw in a portion of chips as well and they refused, so with that Big Sam collected the last of his wages and was off to KFC for a bargain bucket.

13.12.10 – Arsene Wenger’s policy #sigh –If Arsene had a pound for every time he heard the same criticism of his Arsenal side he’d be a billionaire and still not spend a penny, and if strength, belief and passion as he constantly bangs on about were the names of a set of a centre halfs and keeper he’d have won the league by now.  

15.12.10 Liverpool 0 Utrecht 0 (very flattering score line to both sides) – Liverpool offered four free kids’ tickets for every adult ticket purchased, at Thursday’s game against Utrecht. Parents are now seeking compensation.  

17.12.10 Mum you’re embarrassing me in front of 50million fans –Instead of Mrs Konchesky taking her son down to their local park and them working on his defending (and frankly everything else he does on the pitch) she’s indoors on computer, making the poor boys career even fifty times harder for him.

17.12.10 Champions League Draw – So the theory has been proven right then, say something enough and it may actually happen, as it was the case of Arsenal’s Champions League draw. You would have thought the tie had been a request from Spurs fans but nope it was one from Arsenal players, Theo Walcott and RVP. (Two players you can’t even count on starting. RVP will probably get attacked by a flock of cotton wool and be out for ten weeks & Walcott could go off the boil as he does) If Barca’s players had requested Arsenal in the next round they would have been branded arrogant, when Arsenal do the same however they just sound like a division two side who made it through the second round of FA Cup and want a final big day out.

Chelsea Vs. Copenhagen – On the topic of League two sides how does Chelsea always manage to draw them. Go back and check their Cup records it unbelievable.

Spurs Vs. Ac Milan – How boring is it now hearing the Spurs story over and over again, Harry took them from brink relegation to the top four blah blah blah….They’ve got a great chance of beating Milan because they’ve improved we all know that, so that Xfactor sob story doesn’t need to be attached to every game.

17.12.10 Winter World Cup –The 2022 world cup, a new shirt deal with Barcelona and rumours this week of a Man United & Newcastle takeover, it’s not long now until Qatar’s money has control of football worldwide. It’s a shame though that they can’t buy themselves a cooler climate and even though their mate Mr Blatter may think he’s god he can’t do nothing of it either…. oh, except screw the rest of us of course.

18.12.10 The Weekend’s football –At least we were left with the two blockbuster fixtures of the weekend Blackburn Vs. West Ham and Sunderland Vs. Bolton (it was in fact a decent game though)

Blackburn 1 Vs. West Ham 1 -Why do the Gold and Sullivan insist on putting labels on everything? S.O.S and now Grant’s three games to save his job. If he’s not the right man change him.

Sunderland 1 Vs. Bolton 0 – Danny Welbeck may have scored the winner but Craig Gordon won the game with his fantastic save…

Ipswich 3 Vs. Leicester 0 – I wonder what Roy Keane’s reaction would have been if he was on the opposing end of that defeat after playing in those conditions.

*Highlight of the week* We’ve all watched videos in another language and wondered what was being said. This week’s highlights are from three of the week’s funniest clips all with international speakers. Decide which one is your favourite (leave your comments below) and in next week’s edition I’ll have it translated.

Forgot professionalism my team just scored

Asamoah Gyan dancer, rapper, songwriter… oh and professional footballer

Now they’re mugging Ronaldo off the pitch as well

TWR- Every Monday & Feel free to add me on twitter @marvinwilliams

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