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The Man, The Legend, The Letdown

You remember the day you found him. You’d floundered for your first couple of seasons, but eventually the hard work scouring the transfer market paid off. You had him and there was no looking back. That player that could transform your team of nearly men to Champions League winners. The heights of stardom had never been as good for Altrincham FC, or you for that matter.

Then every new game you started he was your first port of call. And he did the business every time. Who cares that the hours hunched in front of your computer screen on Championship Manager wrecked your GCSE revision or cost you your relationship? You were together. And there was no one to stop you.

Many a computer generated man-crush developed with these important men in our lives. While they were Champions League legends with us, they never quite made it in real life to join the footballing legends you can often see post match gracing the Man United hospitality and catering areas. We know it hurts us too boys. We miss you.

Tommy Svindal Larsen

You know the CM drill. Scour obscure foreign leagues for “the one”, stick him in the mix for Doncaster Rovers and watch your dreams of winning the Champions League in five seasons come true.

Circa 97/98 Tommy was one player you’d always look to bolster your midfield. Staebek’s loss was pretty much any teams gain – Tommy was golden. Forget Roy Keane or Patrick Vieira, there was a third midfield legend plying his trade in the Premier League; it was our boy Tommy. If only someone had really taken a chance on him, and a career spent mostly in the lower echelons of Scandinavian football could have instead have redefined Premier League football as we know it. We still yearn for you Tommy.

Andri Sigporsson

Forget Gylfi Sigurdsson, the hottest thing to come out of Iceland has to be without doubt Andri Sigpoorson. Not only could you get him at a cut price only to see him transform your engine room, you could always sell him on for the big bucks to a Premier League rival. Walk into any pub now and ask any man in their late twenties if they remember the day they let Andri go and the regret they now feel; sometimes characters are bigger than money in football. What do we know of Andri in reality? Not much, but he’s always in our hearts.

Matthew Etherington

England’s “golden generation” had one problem – the left flank. It was all too much of a square peg in a round hole scenario, with Sven at one stage opting for Wayne Bridge and Ashley Cole in tandom. Ah, Bridge – remember when he was good? Anyway, there were no such troubles on Champ Man where Mattie Etherington could be picked up for a steal from York before taking the top levels of the game by storm. He was England’s golden boy for years. In fairness, he’s had quite a good career, now at Stoke City, via Spurs and West Ham; but it’s not golden like we know it could have been.

Other top Champ Man letdowns include:

  • Derby County’s Tonton Zola-Moukoko – remember him?
  • Taribo West – yes the one with the ridiculous hair
  • Ibrahima Bakayoko – yes he did go on to play for Everton

Who was your CM hero? Whatever happened to him?



  1. markjorgy

    February 6, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    I’ll never forgive Sigporsson for leaving my (Premier League winning) Bristol Rovers team to join Real Madrid.

    Made a nice £25m profit though.

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